Mum demands better training at supermarket

Malvern Gazette: ROW AT STORE: Mum Kate Handley holding baby Archie, 11 months, with Calum, 12, and Oliver, 5, who has autism. ROW AT STORE: Mum Kate Handley holding baby Archie, 11 months, with Calum, 12, and Oliver, 5, who has autism.

A MOTHER is demanding better training for workers at a Worcester supermarket after a staff member “shouted” at her autistic son.

Kate Handley has refused offers of goodwill from Asda in St Martin’s Quarter after she said a cafe worker “laughed in her face” when she told him that her five-year-old was autistic.

Miss Handley, of Birch Avenue, Tolladine, was having lunch in the cafe on Monday December 9 with her three children – Calum, 12, Oliver, five, and Archie, 11 months – when she went to change her baby’s nappy.

While she was walking towards the bathroom, Oliver was following a few steps behind.

She said: “All I heard was somebody shouting and I turned round and saw my son had dropped a small piece of litter – a cookie wrapper out of Asda’s lunchbox range.

“And when I saw that he had done that I said I was sorry, and went to pick it up.

“The member of staff gritted his teeth and said Oli had just dropped it. I apologised again and he snatched it up and slammed it in the bin.”

After she had seated her children she went to speak to the member of staff.

She said she explained that Oliver was autistic and found it difficult in supermarkets and that she was not happy with how he spoke to her son.

“He just glared at me and said Oli was unsupervised and that he couldn’t have old people tripping on litter.

“I said I understood that but I apologised twice which he ignored, and then said he’s not naughty, he has a disability, and he laughed in my face.”

The store offered her a £5 goodwill voucher and Oliver his choice of toy but she refused and said she wanted a written apology and better training for staff so they could deal better with people who have disabilities.

A spokesman for Asda said the member of staff had to replace four meals for other people in the restaurant as the children were throwing food, and that although there was no CCTV in the cafe there was in the store itself and the children were seen unsupervised in the toy and DVD aisles.

He added: “We’d hate to upset anyone who visits our store. We’ve given Miss Handley a £5 gesture of goodwill and also offered her son a toy from the store. If she would like to get in touch with us again we’re more than happy to talk this through with her.”

Miss Handley denied that her children were throwing food and has written to the store management.

Comments (85)

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4:27pm Tue 17 Dec 13

goodygoody says...

With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.
With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about. goodygoody

4:33pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Nortynorse says...

Well said "goodygoody" how were the staff to know this child was autistic? in addition to this I am sure we remember the sad case of Jamie Bulger who was on his own and the fate he suffered.

Why were these children unsupervised in the store anyway, let alone the toy isle???

Would the mother had laid the blame at ASDA's door had they gone missing?
Well said "goodygoody" how were the staff to know this child was autistic? in addition to this I am sure we remember the sad case of Jamie Bulger who was on his own and the fate he suffered. Why were these children unsupervised in the store anyway, let alone the toy isle??? Would the mother had laid the blame at ASDA's door had they gone missing? Nortynorse

4:53pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Longtreeroad says...

If the children had not been left unattended then she would have seen the child drop the litter. Some people make themselves sound all sweet and innocent, but it seems she only tells one side of the story, try taking some parenting advice and watch your kids better before you start accusing staff of needing more training.

If I was the asda store manager I would retract the offer of any apology!

Reward a child for dropping litter?
If the children had not been left unattended then she would have seen the child drop the litter. Some people make themselves sound all sweet and innocent, but it seems she only tells one side of the story, try taking some parenting advice and watch your kids better before you start accusing staff of needing more training. If I was the asda store manager I would retract the offer of any apology! Reward a child for dropping litter? Longtreeroad

4:55pm Tue 17 Dec 13

keep it real says...

On a Monday lunchtime with a 12 and 5 year old, I assume it was a TED day ?
On a Monday lunchtime with a 12 and 5 year old, I assume it was a TED day ? keep it real

4:57pm Tue 17 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around? grubberlog

5:15pm Tue 17 Dec 13

nerdybird1 says...

goodygoody wrote:
With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.
FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate
[quote][p][bold]goodygoody[/bold] wrote: With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.[/p][/quote]FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate nerdybird1

5:17pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Longtreeroad says...

nerdybird1 wrote:
goodygoody wrote:
With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.
FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate
Comment by a friend !
[quote][p][bold]nerdybird1[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]goodygoody[/bold] wrote: With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.[/p][/quote]FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate[/p][/quote]Comment by a friend ! Longtreeroad

5:18pm Tue 17 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
"Spastic"?! God... What era were you born in?

It's a sad fact of life but people are still ignorant about learning disabilities. But it's not really their fault. They just see a child acting unruly and then just assume that they are being naughty when in fact the child just doesn't understand about social situations.

But with all due respect, like that mentioned by goodygoody, an autistic child should not really be left unattended...
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]"Spastic"?! God... What era were you born in? It's a sad fact of life but people are still ignorant about learning disabilities. But it's not really their fault. They just see a child acting unruly and then just assume that they are being naughty when in fact the child just doesn't understand about social situations. But with all due respect, like that mentioned by goodygoody, an autistic child should not really be left unattended... tub_thumper

5:21pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

There is a lot that hasn't been printed! The children were supervised!! The member of staff has lied and asda are standing by him.. even though there is an independent witness that proves how the child was treated and that the children were not throwing food!! A written apology was also offered, it's not about toys it's about awareness! That member of staff was vile to a child. Oh and the 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated! Wow people are quick to judge!
There is a lot that hasn't been printed! The children were supervised!! The member of staff has lied and asda are standing by him.. even though there is an independent witness that proves how the child was treated and that the children were not throwing food!! A written apology was also offered, it's not about toys it's about awareness! That member of staff was vile to a child. Oh and the 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated! Wow people are quick to judge! kate82

5:27pm Tue 17 Dec 13

liketoknow says...

grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop liketoknow

5:27pm Tue 17 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

nerdybird1 wrote:
goodygoody wrote:
With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.
FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate
Quoted from the article: "While she was walking towards the bathroom, Oliver was following a few steps behind"...

Yep, looks like Kate wasn't looking at what Oliver was doing...

Goodygoody wasn't saying that Oliver was "running rampant". They were saying that he wasn't being watched at the exact moment he dropped the litter.

And to add a bit of drama, I hardly think that ASDA employees would laugh and shout at a child. Sort it out yourself with turning to a local newspaper! A bit of a non-story really and the hope of some compensation regardless of the state benefits she already receives...
[quote][p][bold]nerdybird1[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]goodygoody[/bold] wrote: With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.[/p][/quote]FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate[/p][/quote]Quoted from the article: "While she [Kate Handley] was walking towards the bathroom, Oliver was following a few steps behind"... Yep, looks like Kate wasn't looking at what Oliver was doing... Goodygoody wasn't saying that Oliver was "running rampant". They were saying that he wasn't being watched at the exact moment he dropped the litter. And to add a bit of drama, I hardly think that ASDA employees would laugh and shout at a child. Sort it out yourself with turning to a local newspaper! A bit of a non-story really and the hope of some compensation regardless of the state benefits she already receives... tub_thumper

5:33pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Little Miss Villa says...

grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ?

I think not!!!
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ? I think not!!! Little Miss Villa

5:46pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

If its about compensation, what has that been turned down? It's not about money.. it's about asda lying to cover themselves. They were told to donate to an autistic based charity rather than offer compensation!
If its about compensation, what has that been turned down? It's not about money.. it's about asda lying to cover themselves. They were told to donate to an autistic based charity rather than offer compensation! kate82

5:52pm Tue 17 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

kate82 wrote:
If its about compensation, what has that been turned down? It's not about money.. it's about asda lying to cover themselves. They were told to donate to an autistic based charity rather than offer compensation!
Doesn't stop you trying. I've tried many times to get compensation off various companies but I sometimes get turned down. At least you tried. And be thankful that their donation will undoubtly be returned to you by the work that the autism charity is doing. Don't be sad that you didn't receive the money direct...
[quote][p][bold]kate82[/bold] wrote: If its about compensation, what has that been turned down? It's not about money.. it's about asda lying to cover themselves. They were told to donate to an autistic based charity rather than offer compensation![/p][/quote]Doesn't stop you trying. I've tried many times to get compensation off various companies but I sometimes get turned down. At least you tried. And be thankful that their donation will undoubtly be returned to you by the work that the autism charity is doing. Don't be sad that you didn't receive the money direct... tub_thumper

5:54pm Tue 17 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

So after all of what I've said (which I hope to be a true representation of yourself) then why would you continue to contact the WN?
So after all of what I've said (which I hope to be a true representation of yourself) then why would you continue to contact the WN? tub_thumper

5:55pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

I never wanted money! It was me that told them to make a donation! This was always about awareness and standing up for my children that were lied about tub_thumper
I never wanted money! It was me that told them to make a donation! This was always about awareness and standing up for my children that were lied about tub_thumper kate82

5:59pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

The wn contacted me.. I ranted on facebook and it was "shared" so many times, it's been read.. a lot! Asda are refusing to admit my children were not in the wrong, even though I have a witness who made contact with me. I've never met that person before! That man 100% found it funny and refused to apologise to me which is why I took it further within asda! Vile man!! And to be honest, I'm disgusted with asda! A child with autism, who isn't a fan of supermarkets anyway was treated appallingly!
The wn contacted me.. I ranted on facebook and it was "shared" so many times, it's been read.. a lot! Asda are refusing to admit my children were not in the wrong, even though I have a witness who made contact with me. I've never met that person before! That man 100% found it funny and refused to apologise to me which is why I took it further within asda! Vile man!! And to be honest, I'm disgusted with asda! A child with autism, who isn't a fan of supermarkets anyway was treated appallingly! kate82

6:01pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Budweis-her says...

Why weren't the kids at school?
Why weren't the kids at school? Budweis-her

6:03pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

The 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated as he can't cope with a school environment due to his autism
The 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated as he can't cope with a school environment due to his autism kate82

6:20pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Blissfully_me says...

Many times the comments on news articles have made me laugh, but this one wins the award! First of all, I'd like to commend all of the wonderful, perfect parents, who have never claimed benefits, for their comments. It must be quite something to be better than everyone else. Secondly, WN have to allow Asda Worcester the right to reply, they are hardly going to admit they are in the wrong now are they? There are two sides to every story and this one is a waste of the paper (and webpage) it is printed on since there is a lot of information missed out, and a clear bias in favour of the big corporation as always. And here was I thinking people loved an underdog. Don't believe everything you see, just because it's written, if you've got nothing useful to add, go and get back to your perfect lives and let's hope you don't have the misfortune of ever being discriminated against.
Many times the comments on news articles have made me laugh, but this one wins the award! First of all, I'd like to commend all of the wonderful, perfect parents, who have never claimed benefits, for their comments. It must be quite something to be better than everyone else. Secondly, WN have to allow Asda Worcester the right to reply, they are hardly going to admit they are in the wrong now are they? There are two sides to every story and this one is a waste of the paper (and webpage) it is printed on since there is a lot of information missed out, and a clear bias in favour of the big corporation as always. And here was I thinking people loved an underdog. Don't believe everything you see, just because it's written, if you've got nothing useful to add, go and get back to your perfect lives and let's hope you don't have the misfortune of ever being discriminated against. Blissfully_me

6:31pm Tue 17 Dec 13

pinkfluff says...

Sounds like 6 of one and half a dozen of the other to me. Could the parent have done more.....probably yes, could ASDA have responded more productively and done better....... probably yes.

It's unclear why a child would be kept off school for a dentist appointment though. Surely it's a case of trip to the dentist then back to school....not the local cafe? #justsayinglike
Sounds like 6 of one and half a dozen of the other to me. Could the parent have done more.....probably yes, could ASDA have responded more productively and done better....... probably yes. It's unclear why a child would be kept off school for a dentist appointment though. Surely it's a case of trip to the dentist then back to school....not the local cafe? #justsayinglike pinkfluff

6:33pm Tue 17 Dec 13

jb says...

A spokesman for Asda said the member of staff had to replace four meals for other people in the restaurant as the children were throwing food, and that although there was no CCTV in the cafe there was in the store itself and the children were seen unsupervised in the toy and DVD aisles.

There would appear to be four other witnesses somewhere or at the very least unhappy patrons of the cafe if they had to have meals replaced due to food being thrown about. As ever there are two sides to every story but having CCTV footage of the children unsupervised seems quite self explanatory.
A spokesman for Asda said the member of staff had to replace four meals for other people in the restaurant as the children were throwing food, and that although there was no CCTV in the cafe there was in the store itself and the children were seen unsupervised in the toy and DVD aisles. There would appear to be four other witnesses somewhere or at the very least unhappy patrons of the cafe if they had to have meals replaced due to food being thrown about. As ever there are two sides to every story but having CCTV footage of the children unsupervised seems quite self explanatory. jb

6:39pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

In I would love for one of the customers with replaced food to comment.. it didn't happen and they are using the lack of cctv to lie! I would be appalled if my children had been throwing food and wouldn't allow them to behave like that! Although it begs the question why did the member of staff not speak to me about food being thrown if this was true? Rather than shout at my child for dropping a piece of litter which I offered to pick up??
In I would love for one of the customers with replaced food to comment.. it didn't happen and they are using the lack of cctv to lie! I would be appalled if my children had been throwing food and wouldn't allow them to behave like that! Although it begs the question why did the member of staff not speak to me about food being thrown if this was true? Rather than shout at my child for dropping a piece of litter which I offered to pick up?? kate82

6:48pm Tue 17 Dec 13

truth must out says...

kate82 wrote:
The 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated as he can't cope with a school environment due to his autism
Didn't know there was a dentist in Asda....!!
[quote][p][bold]kate82[/bold] wrote: The 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated as he can't cope with a school environment due to his autism[/p][/quote]Didn't know there was a dentist in Asda....!! truth must out

6:52pm Tue 17 Dec 13

jb says...

Kate82. We're you with the children all the time when they were in the cafe? It's just that you say why didn't the member of staff speak to you about the food issue so it sounds as if there was a period of time when you were not with them so possibly unaware of anything happening. I'm just going by what you have mentioned in comments and from the article. The behaviour of the staff member also seems extreme if your son had just accidentally dropped a piece of litter, I'm sure they have to condend with difficult customers frequently so would not have responded like this to such a petty incident.

I'm fully aware of autistic behaviour as my son is autistic with learning difficulties but not everyone can be trained to identify this in a child/adult who appears outwardly to have no physical or obvious disabiltity. It is difficult to distinguish between a child being 'naughty' or having challenging behaviour.
Kate82. We're you with the children all the time when they were in the cafe? It's just that you say why didn't the member of staff speak to you about the food issue so it sounds as if there was a period of time when you were not with them so possibly unaware of anything happening. I'm just going by what you have mentioned in comments and from the article. The behaviour of the staff member also seems extreme if your son had just accidentally dropped a piece of litter, I'm sure they have to condend with difficult customers frequently so would not have responded like this to such a petty incident. I'm fully aware of autistic behaviour as my son is autistic with learning difficulties but not everyone can be trained to identify this in a child/adult who appears outwardly to have no physical or obvious disabiltity. It is difficult to distinguish between a child being 'naughty' or having challenging behaviour. jb

6:53pm Tue 17 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

Kate82:
I doubt the WN contacted you over such a minor story. Most people who have an issue with some aspect of life usually run to the paper for sympathy. Judging by your comments of justification you appear to be a little miffed that no-one has replied with "oooh, what a poor person"!
Also, great photo. It's nice to not see the usual 'WN folded arms and angry face' photo. It also looks like you're in Drummonds... Great place to take an autistic child!
And I agree with Pinkfluff: why was your child off school all day for a dental appointment?

Blissfully_me:
You have just contradicted yourself. Your mere assumption that everyone on here is a "perfect parent" has made you look a fool. Your assumption of people "better off parents" has now led you to a social class war. By saying those things has made you discriminative against a higher class of people...
And no-one here is discriminating anyway. They are just being realists and are probably a little tired of the nanny-state in which we live in...
Kate82: I doubt the WN contacted you over such a minor story. Most people who have an issue with some aspect of life usually run to the paper for sympathy. Judging by your comments of justification you appear to be a little miffed that no-one has replied with "oooh, what a poor person"! Also, great photo. It's nice to not see the usual 'WN folded arms and angry face' photo. It also looks like you're in Drummonds... Great place to take an autistic child! And I agree with Pinkfluff: why was your child off school all day for a dental appointment? Blissfully_me: You have just contradicted yourself. Your mere assumption that everyone on here is a "perfect parent" has made you look a fool. Your assumption of people "better off parents" has now led you to a social class war. By saying those things has made you discriminative against a higher class of people... And no-one here is discriminating anyway. They are just being realists and are probably a little tired of the nanny-state in which we live in... tub_thumper

7:04pm Tue 17 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

"I'm fully aware of autistic behaviour as my son is autistic with learning difficulties but not everyone can be trained to identify this in a child/adult who appears outwardly to have no physical or obvious disabiltity. It is difficult to distinguish between a child being 'naughty' or having challenging behaviour"

That's exactly what I said in a previous post! I used to be a support worker; working with adults with autism and server learning disabilities. There was a man I supported who would remove his clothes in public and in the shared home he lived in. Even though he had no understanding of this unacceptable social behaviour he still did it for attention seeking purposes as he knew it would get a reaction - very much like a two year old child.

So Kate82: no one is being discriminative against you. It's just that your comments (and the WN story) seem to be a little exaggerated. That's why we presumed that you were doing it for money.

After all, there is two sides to every story and we have only made our comments on what we have read. That's what society does - regardless of how ignorant we make ourselves look...
"I'm fully aware of autistic behaviour as my son is autistic with learning difficulties but not everyone can be trained to identify this in a child/adult who appears outwardly to have no physical or obvious disabiltity. It is difficult to distinguish between a child being 'naughty' or having challenging behaviour" That's exactly what I said in a previous post! I used to be a support worker; working with adults with autism and server learning disabilities. There was a man I supported who would remove his clothes in public and in the shared home he lived in. Even though he had no understanding of this unacceptable social behaviour he still did it for attention seeking purposes as he knew it would get a reaction - very much like a two year old child. So Kate82: no one is being discriminative against you. It's just that your comments (and the WN story) seem to be a little exaggerated. That's why we presumed that you were doing it for money. After all, there is two sides to every story and we have only made our comments on what we have read. That's what society does - regardless of how ignorant we make ourselves look... tub_thumper

7:07pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

Jb.. yes I was with my children.. we all ate much together after the dentist.. maybe the member of staff was having a bad day but I have nothing to lie about! They ate their lunch nicely! And tub_thumper they did contact me.. would you like screenshots of that as proof?? Also yes that picture was taken in drummonds. It was at a family birthday party and closed to the public.. my child has autism but I won't shut him away from the world!
Jb.. yes I was with my children.. we all ate much together after the dentist.. maybe the member of staff was having a bad day but I have nothing to lie about! They ate their lunch nicely! And tub_thumper they did contact me.. would you like screenshots of that as proof?? Also yes that picture was taken in drummonds. It was at a family birthday party and closed to the public.. my child has autism but I won't shut him away from the world! kate82

7:12pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

I understand that tub_thumper which is why I tried to explain that my child had a disability and that it wasn't "naughty" behavior to drop the litter.. the response I had was for him to shrug his shoulders and laugh at me which is why I took my complaint further. I do not want money, a toy or any compensation.. all I want is for awareness to be made! Not every child is "naughty" and the member of staff shouldn't have jumped on my son.. he should have spoken to me as I WAS with him. I allowed the story as it highlights this but I had hoped that all the information had been in the article.
I understand that tub_thumper which is why I tried to explain that my child had a disability and that it wasn't "naughty" behavior to drop the litter.. the response I had was for him to shrug his shoulders and laugh at me which is why I took my complaint further. I do not want money, a toy or any compensation.. all I want is for awareness to be made! Not every child is "naughty" and the member of staff shouldn't have jumped on my son.. he should have spoken to me as I WAS with him. I allowed the story as it highlights this but I had hoped that all the information had been in the article. kate82

7:14pm Tue 17 Dec 13

pinkfluff says...

kate82 wrote:
Jb.. yes I was with my children.. we all ate much together after the dentist.. maybe the member of staff was having a bad day but I have nothing to lie about! They ate their lunch nicely! And tub_thumper they did contact me.. would you like screenshots of that as proof?? Also yes that picture was taken in drummonds. It was at a family birthday party and closed to the public.. my child has autism but I won't shut him away from the world!
Sorry but I stand by what I have said, the child should have gone back to school after the dentist and not a cafe. A dental appointment should not be seen as a day off school.
[quote][p][bold]kate82[/bold] wrote: Jb.. yes I was with my children.. we all ate much together after the dentist.. maybe the member of staff was having a bad day but I have nothing to lie about! They ate their lunch nicely! And tub_thumper they did contact me.. would you like screenshots of that as proof?? Also yes that picture was taken in drummonds. It was at a family birthday party and closed to the public.. my child has autism but I won't shut him away from the world![/p][/quote]Sorry but I stand by what I have said, the child should have gone back to school after the dentist and not a cafe. A dental appointment should not be seen as a day off school. pinkfluff

7:17pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

Your entitled to your opinion pinkfluff.. however my son had missed his lunch break at school.. I wasn't going to leave him hungry!
Your entitled to your opinion pinkfluff.. however my son had missed his lunch break at school.. I wasn't going to leave him hungry! kate82

7:19pm Tue 17 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

tub_thumper wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
"Spastic"?! God... What era were you born in?

It's a sad fact of life but people are still ignorant about learning disabilities. But it's not really their fault. They just see a child acting unruly and then just assume that they are being naughty when in fact the child just doesn't understand about social situations.

But with all due respect, like that mentioned by goodygoody, an autistic child should not really be left unattended...
A spastic is still a spastic, the era is unimportant, spastic deplegia is the same disease. Scope replaced the Spastic Society to provide a more "user friendly" name. Its interesting how my (deliberate) use of the word caused interest, yet autism goes unnoticed.
[quote][p][bold]tub_thumper[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]"Spastic"?! God... What era were you born in? It's a sad fact of life but people are still ignorant about learning disabilities. But it's not really their fault. They just see a child acting unruly and then just assume that they are being naughty when in fact the child just doesn't understand about social situations. But with all due respect, like that mentioned by goodygoody, an autistic child should not really be left unattended...[/p][/quote]A spastic is still a spastic, the era is unimportant, spastic deplegia is the same disease. Scope replaced the Spastic Society to provide a more "user friendly" name. Its interesting how my (deliberate) use of the word caused interest, yet autism goes unnoticed. grubberlog

7:21pm Tue 17 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

liketoknow wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop
Ah ok, so really ASDA dont give a **** about who throws food around, so that shows what a red herring that one was. Giving out "goodwill" vouchers is an indication of accepted liability.
[quote][p][bold]liketoknow[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop[/p][/quote]Ah ok, so really ASDA dont give a **** about who throws food around, so that shows what a red herring that one was. Giving out "goodwill" vouchers is an indication of accepted liability. grubberlog

7:22pm Tue 17 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

Little Miss Villa wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ?

I think not!!!
Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?
[quote][p][bold]Little Miss Villa[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ? I think not!!![/p][/quote]Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology? grubberlog

7:26pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Blissfully_me says...

tub_thumper wrote:
Kate82:
I doubt the WN contacted you over such a minor story. Most people who have an issue with some aspect of life usually run to the paper for sympathy. Judging by your comments of justification you appear to be a little miffed that no-one has replied with "oooh, what a poor person"!
Also, great photo. It's nice to not see the usual 'WN folded arms and angry face' photo. It also looks like you're in Drummonds... Great place to take an autistic child!
And I agree with Pinkfluff: why was your child off school all day for a dental appointment?

Blissfully_me:
You have just contradicted yourself. Your mere assumption that everyone on here is a "perfect parent" has made you look a fool. Your assumption of people "better off parents" has now led you to a social class war. By saying those things has made you discriminative against a higher class of people...
And no-one here is discriminating anyway. They are just being realists and are probably a little tired of the nanny-state in which we live in...
I have not contradicted myself. I discriminate against no one. I didn't insult parents who are " well off" or "higher class" (although class is how one conducts oneself, not the amount of money you earn (or receive in benefits). It just appears from some of the judgemental comments on here, that people perceive themselves to be a better parent, simply because they aren't in receipt of benefits! And in my opinion (to which I am entitled) if you go around telling others how to parent their child, you ought to be the perfect parent yourself!
[quote][p][bold]tub_thumper[/bold] wrote: Kate82: I doubt the WN contacted you over such a minor story. Most people who have an issue with some aspect of life usually run to the paper for sympathy. Judging by your comments of justification you appear to be a little miffed that no-one has replied with "oooh, what a poor person"! Also, great photo. It's nice to not see the usual 'WN folded arms and angry face' photo. It also looks like you're in Drummonds... Great place to take an autistic child! And I agree with Pinkfluff: why was your child off school all day for a dental appointment? Blissfully_me: You have just contradicted yourself. Your mere assumption that everyone on here is a "perfect parent" has made you look a fool. Your assumption of people "better off parents" has now led you to a social class war. By saying those things has made you discriminative against a higher class of people... And no-one here is discriminating anyway. They are just being realists and are probably a little tired of the nanny-state in which we live in...[/p][/quote]I have not contradicted myself. I discriminate against no one. I didn't insult parents who are " well off" or "higher class" (although class is how one conducts oneself, not the amount of money you earn (or receive in benefits). It just appears from some of the judgemental comments on here, that people perceive themselves to be a better parent, simply because they aren't in receipt of benefits! And in my opinion (to which I am entitled) if you go around telling others how to parent their child, you ought to be the perfect parent yourself! Blissfully_me

7:33pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Blissfully_me says...

Oh, and when I mentioned discrimination, I meant Asda, not the people commenting here. The comments are opinions after all, and we are all entitled to have one.
Oh, and when I mentioned discrimination, I meant Asda, not the people commenting here. The comments are opinions after all, and we are all entitled to have one. Blissfully_me

7:37pm Tue 17 Dec 13

Budweis-her says...

How about a dentist appointment out of school hours like most other kids? That would have prevented all of his happening. Unless it was an emergency appointment I can't imagine the school being too happy about a child being taken out of class for several hours.

As for the autistic child, perhaps if he had some involvement in a mainstream school it may help him in social situations and also build his confidence and awareness in public places.

I fail to see how supermarket staff 'need training in disabilities'. There are so many disabilities out there that they couldn't possibly have enough training to recognise all of them. Customer services skills yes, but not training in recognising disabilities. Leave that to the medical profession.
How about a dentist appointment out of school hours like most other kids? That would have prevented all of his happening. Unless it was an emergency appointment I can't imagine the school being too happy about a child being taken out of class for several hours. As for the autistic child, perhaps if he had some involvement in a mainstream school it may help him in social situations and also build his confidence and awareness in public places. I fail to see how supermarket staff 'need training in disabilities'. There are so many disabilities out there that they couldn't possibly have enough training to recognise all of them. Customer services skills yes, but not training in recognising disabilities. Leave that to the medical profession. Budweis-her

7:37pm Tue 17 Dec 13

jb says...

One thing I will say is that, although I don't know the little boy and how the autism is affecting him it cannot be used to excuse all disruptive or unacceptable behaviours.
One thing I will say is that, although I don't know the little boy and how the autism is affecting him it cannot be used to excuse all disruptive or unacceptable behaviours. jb

7:49pm Tue 17 Dec 13

pinkfluff says...

kate82 wrote:
Your entitled to your opinion pinkfluff.. however my son had missed his lunch break at school.. I wasn't going to leave him hungry!
Well that's fair enough. Thank you for taking the time to respond. :-)
[quote][p][bold]kate82[/bold] wrote: Your entitled to your opinion pinkfluff.. however my son had missed his lunch break at school.. I wasn't going to leave him hungry![/p][/quote]Well that's fair enough. Thank you for taking the time to respond. :-) pinkfluff

7:58pm Tue 17 Dec 13

kate82 says...

Budweis-her.. my son couldn't cope with being in a main stream school, it was on the advice of his school that I took him out and decided to home educate. And Jb I do not excuse my all my sons behavior on his autism.. I do tell him when he's out of line! And I did tell him that litter belongs in the bin and not on the floor! I have 3 wonderful children who I adore and I know they arnt perfect but they are nice children! I will always fight for my children, and in this case I did. I won't have anyone speak to my child like this! Pinkfluff.. no problem!
Budweis-her.. my son couldn't cope with being in a main stream school, it was on the advice of his school that I took him out and decided to home educate. And Jb I do not excuse my all my sons behavior on his autism.. I do tell him when he's out of line! And I did tell him that litter belongs in the bin and not on the floor! I have 3 wonderful children who I adore and I know they arnt perfect but they are nice children! I will always fight for my children, and in this case I did. I won't have anyone speak to my child like this! Pinkfluff.. no problem! kate82

8:38pm Tue 17 Dec 13

IanMurray says...

Perhaps the real problem is why this disabled child was not learning in a suitable school. Note the word suitable. WCC should be providing enough support to the child and his family to enable him to go to build up towards attending a specialist school and receive the education that he needs and is entitled to. Disabled or not, one day he will be an adult and his parents won't be around to look after him. WCC needs to spend some money helping this child, rather than dump the problem on his mother to "home school".
Perhaps the real problem is why this disabled child was not learning in a suitable school. Note the word suitable. WCC should be providing enough support to the child and his family to enable him to go to build up towards attending a specialist school and receive the education that he needs and is entitled to. Disabled or not, one day he will be an adult and his parents won't be around to look after him. WCC needs to spend some money helping this child, rather than dump the problem on his mother to "home school". IanMurray

8:54pm Tue 17 Dec 13

canuck7 says...

£5 gift voucher...? asda are having a laugh - again.
£5 gift voucher...? asda are having a laugh - again. canuck7

10:14pm Tue 17 Dec 13

adc1960 says...

yes, if Asda has done wrong, then they need to put it right - but surely doesn't the mother have a degree of responsibility here.....shop staff take a huge amount of abuse and tolerate a great deal of unacceptable behaviour - respect goes both ways - yes, customers of Asda deserve to be treated well and respected by staff, but staff should be respected and treated well by customers and it would seem that this family have shown shop staff little or no respecr.......
yes, if Asda has done wrong, then they need to put it right - but surely doesn't the mother have a degree of responsibility here.....shop staff take a huge amount of abuse and tolerate a great deal of unacceptable behaviour - respect goes both ways - yes, customers of Asda deserve to be treated well and respected by staff, but staff should be respected and treated well by customers and it would seem that this family have shown shop staff little or no respecr....... adc1960

10:24pm Tue 17 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

adc1960 wrote:
yes, if Asda has done wrong, then they need to put it right - but surely doesn't the mother have a degree of responsibility here.....shop staff take a huge amount of abuse and tolerate a great deal of unacceptable behaviour - respect goes both ways - yes, customers of Asda deserve to be treated well and respected by staff, but staff should be respected and treated well by customers and it would seem that this family have shown shop staff little or no respecr.......
Wheres the lack of respect to Asda staff here? The mother apologised for her sons behaviour, and explained his disability to staff. Sounds pretty respectful to me.
[quote][p][bold]adc1960[/bold] wrote: yes, if Asda has done wrong, then they need to put it right - but surely doesn't the mother have a degree of responsibility here.....shop staff take a huge amount of abuse and tolerate a great deal of unacceptable behaviour - respect goes both ways - yes, customers of Asda deserve to be treated well and respected by staff, but staff should be respected and treated well by customers and it would seem that this family have shown shop staff little or no respecr.......[/p][/quote]Wheres the lack of respect to Asda staff here? The mother apologised for her sons behaviour, and explained his disability to staff. Sounds pretty respectful to me. grubberlog

10:25pm Tue 17 Dec 13

julie allsopp says...

It's about time all this nonsense ended. My grandson is 9, autistic and goes to Fort royal school....he copes...end of
It's about time all this nonsense ended. My grandson is 9, autistic and goes to Fort royal school....he copes...end of julie allsopp

12:33am Wed 18 Dec 13

CJH says...

grubberlog wrote:
Little Miss Villa wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ?

I think not!!!
Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?
You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Little Miss Villa[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ? I think not!!![/p][/quote]Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?[/p][/quote]You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again. CJH

12:36am Wed 18 Dec 13

ideas4all says...

Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos
Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos ideas4all

7:54am Wed 18 Dec 13

truth must out says...

ideas4all wrote:
Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos
You made this up didn't you?? Unless your 'friend' has got classified information and holds a senior position at Asda which I very much doubt. No person in such a position would divulge such information.
[quote][p][bold]ideas4all[/bold] wrote: Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos[/p][/quote]You made this up didn't you?? Unless your 'friend' has got classified information and holds a senior position at Asda which I very much doubt. No person in such a position would divulge such information. truth must out

8:58am Wed 18 Dec 13

imustbeoldiwearacap says...

What gets me on this non-story is the laziness of the WN reporters who must troll Facebook/Twitter to get a "story". There are more important events in the world other than a minor dispute between a mother and Asda (and I realise that the mother in this case did not seek out WN, rather the reverse) But this is happening time and time again in the WN - non-stories being published and then the "victim" being pilloried on these forums!
What gets me on this non-story is the laziness of the WN reporters who must troll Facebook/Twitter to get a "story". There are more important events in the world other than a minor dispute between a mother and Asda (and I realise that the mother in this case did not seek out WN, rather the reverse) But this is happening time and time again in the WN - non-stories being published and then the "victim" being pilloried on these forums! imustbeoldiwearacap

8:59am Wed 18 Dec 13

imustbeoldiwearacap says...

But then, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame!
But then, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame! imustbeoldiwearacap

9:23am Wed 18 Dec 13

Ralph123 says...

truth must out wrote:
ideas4all wrote:
Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos
You made this up didn't you?? Unless your 'friend' has got classified information and holds a senior position at Asda which I very much doubt. No person in such a position would divulge such information.
Brilliant, nothing like a bit of nonsense to fuel the UKIP supporters and line the pockets of Tesco!
[quote][p][bold]truth must out[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]ideas4all[/bold] wrote: Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos[/p][/quote]You made this up didn't you?? Unless your 'friend' has got classified information and holds a senior position at Asda which I very much doubt. No person in such a position would divulge such information.[/p][/quote]Brilliant, nothing like a bit of nonsense to fuel the UKIP supporters and line the pockets of Tesco! Ralph123

9:43am Wed 18 Dec 13

leemo79 says...

kate82 wrote:
The 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated as he can't cope with a school environment due to his autism
i have 2 autistic spectrum children Kate, one is 8, suffers from aspergers, dyspraxia, ADHD and has a tic, the other is aspergic and showing signs of ADD.
There are some amazing schools in Worcester that have bases for children exactly like Oliver and worse than.
Cranham primary has a fantastic nurture base and also has one to one workers.
Fairfield also has a great nurture base for children with learning/behavior issues.
Get in touch with them.
[quote][p][bold]kate82[/bold] wrote: The 12 year old had a dental appointment and the 5 year old is home educated as he can't cope with a school environment due to his autism[/p][/quote]i have 2 autistic spectrum children Kate, one is 8, suffers from aspergers, dyspraxia, ADHD and has a tic, the other is aspergic and showing signs of ADD. There are some amazing schools in Worcester that have bases for children exactly like Oliver and worse than. Cranham primary has a fantastic nurture base and also has one to one workers. Fairfield also has a great nurture base for children with learning/behavior issues. Get in touch with them. leemo79

9:46am Wed 18 Dec 13

leemo79 says...

grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
As much as i agree with most of what you wrote, the 'spastic' comment was crass and uncalled for.
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]As much as i agree with most of what you wrote, the 'spastic' comment was crass and uncalled for. leemo79

9:58am Wed 18 Dec 13

Blissfully_me says...

julie allsopp wrote:
It's about time all this nonsense ended. My grandson is 9, autistic and goes to Fort royal school....he copes...end of
A child has to be statemented to attend fort royal school. The child in question has yet to be statemented and therefore cannot attend this school,which probably would better suit his needs. In any case, he has a mother who puts his well being first and is educating him herself at home. This is a perfectly acceptable alternative to mainstream school, and frankly none of your business.
[quote][p][bold]julie allsopp[/bold] wrote: It's about time all this nonsense ended. My grandson is 9, autistic and goes to Fort royal school....he copes...end of[/p][/quote]A child has to be statemented to attend fort royal school. The child in question has yet to be statemented and therefore cannot attend this school,which probably would better suit his needs. In any case, he has a mother who puts his well being first and is educating him herself at home. This is a perfectly acceptable alternative to mainstream school, and frankly none of your business. Blissfully_me

10:52am Wed 18 Dec 13

liketoknow says...

i'd like to know where they found these staff to complain. every time I've gone in the café there have just been two overworked young girls behind the counter.
i'd like to know where they found these staff to complain. every time I've gone in the café there have just been two overworked young girls behind the counter. liketoknow

10:57am Wed 18 Dec 13

Fishy says...

Nice one Asda - go yell at a child in a wheelchair for being too lazy to move on from the pram or at a visually impaired kid for not looking where they are going, why should those with autism get all the yelling (which is particularly distressing for them)!
Nice one Asda - go yell at a child in a wheelchair for being too lazy to move on from the pram or at a visually impaired kid for not looking where they are going, why should those with autism get all the yelling (which is particularly distressing for them)! Fishy

11:32am Wed 18 Dec 13

liketoknow says...

it's a fact of life that if you get your name, face and grievance splashed across the Worcester news you are going to get comments . whether or not the resulting publicity is beneficial to either party is questionable. if the person thinks it raises awareness of autism there may be a benefit' but in overall scheme of things it's a spat that with a little bit of tact and diplomacy could have been resolved much easier
it's a fact of life that if you get your name, face and grievance splashed across the Worcester news you are going to get comments . whether or not the resulting publicity is beneficial to either party is questionable. if the person thinks it raises awareness of autism there may be a benefit' but in overall scheme of things it's a spat that with a little bit of tact and diplomacy could have been resolved much easier liketoknow

12:27pm Wed 18 Dec 13

Omicron says...

It would be interesting to know what the father (or fathers) of "Miss" Handley,s three children has to say about this matter.
It would be interesting to know what the father (or fathers) of "Miss" Handley,s three children has to say about this matter. Omicron

12:41pm Wed 18 Dec 13

WhyBother says...

Its bad how people are just disliking Kate82 comments, why?

She, it seems, is trying to bring some clarity from her POV. It says a ASDA worker has laughed in the mothers face, that is wrong. Also people saying that she should have a constant eye on the child, get real, this isnt possible!
Its bad how people are just disliking Kate82 comments, why? She, it seems, is trying to bring some clarity from her POV. It says a ASDA worker has laughed in the mothers face, that is wrong. Also people saying that she should have a constant eye on the child, get real, this isnt possible! WhyBother

12:49pm Wed 18 Dec 13

lilboo says...

ideas4all wrote:
Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos
Dangerous ground that ideas4all, hope you have proof to back up that allegation!
[quote][p][bold]ideas4all[/bold] wrote: Yes some of the staff do seem to have a attitude problem when u ask them for help .a friend told me recently they were advertising for 4 jobs .15 of the 20 who were interviewed for the posts were non white ( but British born )but none of these were successful .make of this what u wish but mine and my extended families pennies will not be spent here in future we love Tescos[/p][/quote]Dangerous ground that ideas4all, hope you have proof to back up that allegation! lilboo

1:23pm Wed 18 Dec 13

Sassy_Girl says...

I have found some of the staff in here really rude..
One time on one of my first visits, I asked a member of staff where the Customer services was and sarcastically she replied - There's a big green sign over there... I have quite poor vision, even with my glasses.. I do wish I'd have made a complaint about it...

It is only a few members of staff that let the team down, not all of them.. But even so, it's these few that give the place a bad name. If they don't like working with the public then they should work else where!!
I have found some of the staff in here really rude.. One time on one of my first visits, I asked a member of staff where the Customer services was and sarcastically she replied - There's a big green sign over there... I have quite poor vision, even with my glasses.. I do wish I'd have made a complaint about it... It is only a few members of staff that let the team down, not all of them.. But even so, it's these few that give the place a bad name. If they don't like working with the public then they should work else where!! Sassy_Girl

1:52pm Wed 18 Dec 13

liketoknow says...

grubberlog wrote:
liketoknow wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop
Ah ok, so really ASDA dont give a **** about who throws food around, so that shows what a red herring that one was. Giving out "goodwill" vouchers is an indication of accepted liability.
liability for what? as far as I know no crime was committed
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]liketoknow[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop[/p][/quote]Ah ok, so really ASDA dont give a **** about who throws food around, so that shows what a red herring that one was. Giving out "goodwill" vouchers is an indication of accepted liability.[/p][/quote]liability for what? as far as I know no crime was committed liketoknow

2:34pm Wed 18 Dec 13

leemo79 says...

i get stares and comments all the time when i am out with my 2 children.
Other than making them wear a T-shirt declaring 'I am autistic' (which is not even an option) there is nothing much to do apart from make people aware if they ask or act, like Kate is saying, as the staff did in Asda.
It is up to them to process that information and, if they chose, either act blissfully ignorant or inquire more.
I am not sure what to make of the fact Kate says they laughed. If this is true then yes, they most certainly need to have some kind of training in dealing with all kinds of disabilities or just tolerance training ( is that even an option? lol)
Some people do not realize what a child with learning difficulties entails, people do not see it as a disability because the child can walk, talk, run and in most cases scream!
i get stares and comments all the time when i am out with my 2 children. Other than making them wear a T-shirt declaring 'I am autistic' (which is not even an option) there is nothing much to do apart from make people aware if they ask or act, like Kate is saying, as the staff did in Asda. It is up to them to process that information and, if they chose, either act blissfully ignorant or inquire more. I am not sure what to make of the fact Kate says they laughed. If this is true then yes, they most certainly need to have some kind of training in dealing with all kinds of disabilities or just tolerance training ( is that even an option? lol) Some people do not realize what a child with learning difficulties entails, people do not see it as a disability because the child can walk, talk, run and in most cases scream! leemo79

4:01pm Wed 18 Dec 13

goodygoody says...

grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
You've used an awful word in your comment that should never be used in this day and age and if you don't know what word it is then I feel sorry for you. Asda would give a voucher and toy because a member of staff shouted at a child. At first the store didn't know the child was autistic. There is no getting away from the fact that the mother of the children should have had them beside her and under her control. Her children are no one else's responsibility but her own.
[quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]You've used an awful word in your comment that should never be used in this day and age and if you don't know what word it is then I feel sorry for you. Asda would give a voucher and toy because a member of staff shouted at a child. At first the store didn't know the child was autistic. There is no getting away from the fact that the mother of the children should have had them beside her and under her control. Her children are no one else's responsibility but her own. goodygoody

4:03pm Wed 18 Dec 13

liketoknow says...

I think they do a 'children eat free at times don't they?
I think they do a 'children eat free at times don't they? liketoknow

4:06pm Wed 18 Dec 13

Memi says...

If this child was following a few steps BEHIND his mother, he was NOT being supervised! Sadly there was a case in the north-east recently where a child walking behind his mother and her friend was knocked down and killed - mother was busy talking to the friend and was not supervising her child. All children, whether suffering from a disability or not, should be within the sight of an responsible adult at all times.
If this child was following a few steps BEHIND his mother, he was NOT being supervised! Sadly there was a case in the north-east recently where a child walking behind his mother and her friend was knocked down and killed - mother was busy talking to the friend and was not supervising her child. All children, whether suffering from a disability or not, should be within the sight of an responsible adult at all times. Memi

5:43pm Wed 18 Dec 13

Annor1 says...

Give her a break, you can see she is a loving and devoted Mum, there are plenty of unwanted and unloved children in this country, give her the respect and support she needs!
Give her a break, you can see she is a loving and devoted Mum, there are plenty of unwanted and unloved children in this country, give her the respect and support she needs! Annor1

7:01pm Wed 18 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

Omicron wrote:
It would be interesting to know what the father (or fathers) of "Miss" Handley,s three children has to say about this matter.
Why would that be in any way relevant?
[quote][p][bold]Omicron[/bold] wrote: It would be interesting to know what the father (or fathers) of "Miss" Handley,s three children has to say about this matter.[/p][/quote]Why would that be in any way relevant? grubberlog

7:02pm Wed 18 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

leemo79 wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
As much as i agree with most of what you wrote, the 'spastic' comment was crass and uncalled for.
Really? why? a child with spastic diplegia is classed as spastic. Do you have a problem with the use of correct medical terminology?
[quote][p][bold]leemo79[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]As much as i agree with most of what you wrote, the 'spastic' comment was crass and uncalled for.[/p][/quote]Really? why? a child with spastic diplegia is classed as spastic. Do you have a problem with the use of correct medical terminology? grubberlog

7:08pm Wed 18 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

CJH wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
Little Miss Villa wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ?

I think not!!!
Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?
You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.
I will use correct medical terminology where called for, I need to use the word spastic in my working life, so your rather pathetic plea falls on deaf ears. A person with spastic diplegie is NOT physically chellenged, they have a disease, which needs far more research to understand. Grow up will you and see past pejoratives. It is very interesting though to see how unduly sensitive people are to certain words, yet consider autism a laughing matter, or one not to be taken seriously.
[quote][p][bold]CJH[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Little Miss Villa[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ? I think not!!![/p][/quote]Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?[/p][/quote]You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.[/p][/quote]I will use correct medical terminology where called for, I need to use the word spastic in my working life, so your rather pathetic plea falls on deaf ears. A person with spastic diplegie is NOT physically chellenged, they have a disease, which needs far more research to understand. Grow up will you and see past pejoratives. It is very interesting though to see how unduly sensitive people are to certain words, yet consider autism a laughing matter, or one not to be taken seriously. grubberlog

7:10pm Wed 18 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

liketoknow wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
liketoknow wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop
Ah ok, so really ASDA dont give a **** about who throws food around, so that shows what a red herring that one was. Giving out "goodwill" vouchers is an indication of accepted liability.
liability for what? as far as I know no crime was committed
Liabilty stretches far beyond criminal process.
[quote][p][bold]liketoknow[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]liketoknow[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]all stores do that. it's good public relations. they want her to spend her money in their shop[/p][/quote]Ah ok, so really ASDA dont give a **** about who throws food around, so that shows what a red herring that one was. Giving out "goodwill" vouchers is an indication of accepted liability.[/p][/quote]liability for what? as far as I know no crime was committed[/p][/quote]Liabilty stretches far beyond criminal process. grubberlog

7:18pm Wed 18 Dec 13

memberofthepublic says...

CJH wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
Little Miss Villa wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ?

I think not!!!
Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?
You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.
Get over yourself CJH, you are far too sensitive!!
[quote][p][bold]CJH[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Little Miss Villa[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ? I think not!!![/p][/quote]Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?[/p][/quote]You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.[/p][/quote]Get over yourself CJH, you are far too sensitive!! memberofthepublic

7:19pm Wed 18 Dec 13

grubberlog says...

goodygoody wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
You've used an awful word in your comment that should never be used in this day and age and if you don't know what word it is then I feel sorry for you. Asda would give a voucher and toy because a member of staff shouted at a child. At first the store didn't know the child was autistic. There is no getting away from the fact that the mother of the children should have had them beside her and under her control. Her children are no one else's responsibility but her own.
No I havent, for goodness sake grow up. If you do not know what spastic diplegia is, then look it up. If you cant accept the use of correct terminology then thats really is your problem, and something your frail sensitivity needs to deal with, not the medical world, and not my world. Live with it, like this mother has to live with her sons autism.
[quote][p][bold]goodygoody[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]You've used an awful word in your comment that should never be used in this day and age and if you don't know what word it is then I feel sorry for you. Asda would give a voucher and toy because a member of staff shouted at a child. At first the store didn't know the child was autistic. There is no getting away from the fact that the mother of the children should have had them beside her and under her control. Her children are no one else's responsibility but her own.[/p][/quote]No I havent, for goodness sake grow up. If you do not know what spastic diplegia is, then look it up. If you cant accept the use of correct terminology then thats really is your problem, and something your frail sensitivity needs to deal with, not the medical world, and not my world. Live with it, like this mother has to live with her sons autism. grubberlog

8:08pm Wed 18 Dec 13

poontangy says...

The cafe at ASDA has to be experienced in order to comprehend its vileness. The chap in question also was fairly patronising to me after I went to the cafe for breakfast after a 12 hour night shift...looking tired funnily enough. I personally cannot stand that particular asda and it fits well into its surroundings of sex shops,strip clubs, pound shops and bookies. So much for regeneration. Avoid.
The cafe at ASDA has to be experienced in order to comprehend its vileness. The chap in question also was fairly patronising to me after I went to the cafe for breakfast after a 12 hour night shift...looking tired funnily enough. I personally cannot stand that particular asda and it fits well into its surroundings of sex shops,strip clubs, pound shops and bookies. So much for regeneration. Avoid. poontangy

9:55pm Wed 18 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

gruberlog:
Although the term "spastic" technically describes the attribute of spasticity in cerebral palsy (and was originally an acceptable and common term to use in both self-description and in description by others) it has since gained more notoriety as a derogatrive term in particular when used in pop culture to insult able-bodied people when they seem overly anxious or unskilled in sports...

Although you are correct in the medical use of the word, you know all too well of how the word has evolved into a discriminatory insult (or just a plain insult like any insulting word for that matter). The word "spazz" was a popular shortened word to refer to an insult of the word spastic.

Even though I agree that you should be able to freely use a word as in it's original form you should also be aware of how insulting the word has been too. Your first mention of the word was just "spastic" and not "spastic diplegia". If you had used the term in it's fullest then we probably won't be in this argumentative situation now.

The word "retard" (short for retarded) was a medical term but it is now used as an insult.

It's like the word "****". The meaning is just simply short for someone that is of Pakistani origin. But the term was (and still is) used in a derogatory way. I'm not saying that we should ****-foot around people who are easily offended but we should also take into consideration the new meaning of an old word.

And besides, why are we having this conversation? The child in the story wasn't even a Spastic or a Retard. He is autistic - which is a disorder of neural development characterised by impaired social interaction and verbal and non-verbal communication, and by restricted, repetitive or stereotyped behavior...
gruberlog: Although the term "spastic" technically describes the attribute of spasticity in cerebral palsy (and was originally an acceptable and common term to use in both self-description and in description by others) it has since gained more notoriety as a derogatrive term in particular when used in pop culture to insult able-bodied people when they seem overly anxious or unskilled in sports... Although you are correct in the medical use of the word, you know all too well of how the word has evolved into a discriminatory insult (or just a plain insult like any insulting word for that matter). The word "spazz" was a popular shortened word to refer to an insult of the word spastic. Even though I agree that you should be able to freely use a word as in it's original form you should also be aware of how insulting the word has been too. Your first mention of the word was just "spastic" and not "spastic diplegia". If you had used the term in it's fullest then we probably won't be in this argumentative situation now. The word "retard" (short for retarded) was a medical term but it is now used as an insult. It's like the word "****". The meaning is just simply short for someone that is of Pakistani origin. But the term was (and still is) used in a derogatory way. I'm not saying that we should ****-foot around people who are easily offended but we should also take into consideration the new meaning of an old word. And besides, why are we having this conversation? The child in the story wasn't even a Spastic or a Retard. He is autistic - which is a disorder of neural development characterised by impaired social interaction and verbal and non-verbal communication, and by restricted, repetitive or stereotyped behavior... tub_thumper

11:25am Thu 19 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

And ironically the term "P@ki" and "Pu55y-foot" have been censored!
And ironically the term "P@ki" and "Pu55y-foot" have been censored! tub_thumper

11:32am Thu 19 Dec 13

Andy-Apache says...

tub_thumper wrote:
And ironically the term "P@ki" and "Pu55y-foot" have been censored!
That's the Gussette for you... consistent to the end. Spazz made it through too, but pu55y (cat?) didn't!
[quote][p][bold]tub_thumper[/bold] wrote: And ironically the term "P@ki" and "Pu55y-foot" have been censored![/p][/quote]That's the Gussette for you... consistent to the end. Spazz made it through too, but pu55y (cat?) didn't! Andy-Apache

4:00pm Thu 19 Dec 13

CJH says...

memberofthepublic wrote:
CJH wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
Little Miss Villa wrote:
grubberlog wrote:
They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?
Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ?

I think not!!!
Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?
You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.
Get over yourself CJH, you are far too sensitive!!
I make no apology for being sensitive.
[quote][p][bold]memberofthepublic[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]CJH[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Little Miss Villa[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]grubberlog[/bold] wrote: They knew he was autistic because the mother told them he was autistic. She apologised for him dropping litter, and explained that he was autistic, and the man laughed at her. Would it be acceptable to laugh at a spastic, supervised or not? Now why would Asda give her a 5 pound voucher and a free toy from the shop if her children were really throwing food around?[/p][/quote]Is it acceptable to use the term 'spastic' ? I think not!!![/p][/quote]Why not? a child with spastic deplegia is a spastic, that's the correct term, do you have a problem with using correct medical terminology?[/p][/quote]You are being extremely offensive. You know full well the connotation of that word. You could have said 'disabled' or 'physically challenged'. Yes it is a medical term, but like many words it has been hijacked to mean other things, as I'm sure you are fully aware. Please do not use it again.[/p][/quote]Get over yourself CJH, you are far too sensitive!![/p][/quote]I make no apology for being sensitive. CJH

5:13pm Thu 19 Dec 13

Pussyslimeslurper says...

Spastic is fine. People can turn anything into an insult. Does this mean we will keep renaming things because it offends people? Autistic people should be supervised at all times. Some need a harness when they are supervised because they run off and have no clue about dangers.
Spastic is fine. People can turn anything into an insult. Does this mean we will keep renaming things because it offends people? Autistic people should be supervised at all times. Some need a harness when they are supervised because they run off and have no clue about dangers. Pussyslimeslurper

5:23pm Thu 19 Dec 13

Pussyslimeslurper says...

This one I used to see, "bongo" we used to call him he used to be on a harness connected to his own hand and always had a set of bongos in his other banging them constantly. He used to try biting people randomly but luckily he was attached to a harness so he wasn't always successful. Nice guy he was, haven't seen him in a while. Have any of you seen him recently?
This one I used to see, "bongo" we used to call him he used to be on a harness connected to his own hand and always had a set of bongos in his other banging them constantly. He used to try biting people randomly but luckily he was attached to a harness so he wasn't always successful. Nice guy he was, haven't seen him in a while. Have any of you seen him recently? Pussyslimeslurper

8:26pm Thu 19 Dec 13

goodygoody says...

nerdybird1 wrote:
goodygoody wrote:
With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.
FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate
Mayor? Now that's a good idea. I'm glad you noticed that I'm a perfect citizen. We need more of them. I'm glad you mentioned that not every disability is visible, because this will explain why the member of staff in Asda didn't realise the child had a disability. He/she will be more careful in future I daresay a lesson has been learned. And, no the 2 children in my family with autism do not wear their disability in the form of a tee shirt. They are just supervised 24/7, as they are children with this disability they cannot be left in shops for even a nano second or there's all hell to pay.
[quote][p][bold]nerdybird1[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]goodygoody[/bold] wrote: With respect. An autistic child should not be left for a single minute unsupervised in somewhere like a supermarket. I can understand the member of staff not realising a child had this disability and possibly just thought he was being naughty. It seems the children were also unsupervised in the toy isle and that surely is one area where no child should be left to their own devices. A child with or without a disability should be beside their parent/guardian while out shopping. When they're not supervised this leads to parents getting accused of not looking after their children properly and then this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings on both sides. I understand about autism as we have 2 children in our family with this disability so I'm not talking about something that I know nothing about.[/p][/quote]FYI goodygoody it is easy to sit on the fence and criticize others, I expect u are the model of the perfect citizen in fact it is a wonder with all your grand ideas u haven't been given the job as mayor. let me tell you this, this is a whitewash so asda can get out of their responsibility in this case, kate is a great mum and copes wonderfully with all Ollies complex needs, she does not let her kids run rampant if u met them u wud know they are nice respectful boys. so what do your family members with autism do go round wearing t shirts announcing their condition not every disability is visible as u will no doubt understand, the guy at asda need a boot up the backside and asda should hang their heads in shame by trying to get out of this by slating kate[/p][/quote]Mayor? Now that's a good idea. I'm glad you noticed that I'm a perfect citizen. We need more of them. I'm glad you mentioned that not every disability is visible, because this will explain why the member of staff in Asda didn't realise the child had a disability. He/she will be more careful in future I daresay a lesson has been learned. And, no the 2 children in my family with autism do not wear their disability in the form of a tee shirt. They are just supervised 24/7, as they are children with this disability they cannot be left in shops for even a nano second or there's all hell to pay. goodygoody

10:08pm Thu 19 Dec 13

Small Town says...

So... the only family photo the victim could provide the WN was taken in the busy Drummonds pub, with a baby, suitable, really...?

Not only does that lead to questions over lifestyle choices, but if the autistic boy "struggles in supermarkets" as claimed, how is an Asda any MORE challenging than a packed boozer?

Still, each to their own I guess - I wish them luck.
So... the only family photo the victim could provide the WN was taken in the busy Drummonds pub, with a baby, suitable, really...? Not only does that lead to questions over lifestyle choices, but if the autistic boy "struggles in supermarkets" as claimed, how is an Asda any MORE challenging than a packed boozer? Still, each to their own I guess - I wish them luck. Small Town

10:10am Fri 20 Dec 13

tub_thumper says...

Small Town wrote:
So... the only family photo the victim could provide the WN was taken in the busy Drummonds pub, with a baby, suitable, really...?

Not only does that lead to questions over lifestyle choices, but if the autistic boy "struggles in supermarkets" as claimed, how is an Asda any MORE challenging than a packed boozer?

Still, each to their own I guess - I wish them luck.
I've already mentioned the issue of her children at Drummonds further up the comments. Kate took to to reply: apparently, it was a private family function which was closed to the general public. And also, to justify the large gathering of people she replied with "I'm not going to lock my child away just because he is autistic". Which is fair enough I suppose. But I still stand by my case that the ASDA staff didn't act in the way they did. I really can't imagine staff shouting at a child for dropping litter. I personally think that Kate is just over-protective (which is not necessarily a bad thing). This then allowed her to "see" a different side of what actually happened. No-one wants to be told that their child is unruly. I think tempers flared which escalated the reality of the situation.
[quote][p][bold]Small Town[/bold] wrote: So... the only family photo the victim could provide the WN was taken in the busy Drummonds pub, with a baby, suitable, really...? Not only does that lead to questions over lifestyle choices, but if the autistic boy "struggles in supermarkets" as claimed, how is an Asda any MORE challenging than a packed boozer? Still, each to their own I guess - I wish them luck.[/p][/quote]I've already mentioned the issue of her children at Drummonds further up the comments. Kate took to to reply: apparently, it was a private family function which was closed to the general public. And also, to justify the large gathering of people she replied with "I'm not going to lock my child away just because he is autistic". Which is fair enough I suppose. But I still stand by my case that the ASDA staff didn't act in the way they did. I really can't imagine staff shouting at a child for dropping litter. I personally think that Kate is just over-protective (which is not necessarily a bad thing). This then allowed her to "see" a different side of what actually happened. No-one wants to be told that their child is unruly. I think tempers flared which escalated the reality of the situation. tub_thumper

5:13pm Fri 20 Dec 13

Pussyslimeslurper says...

Well seeing as people are reporting my comments ( you sad freaks ) for stupid things like the word "tang" I will now resort to reporting comments with bad spelling and punctuation. WN admins job is about to get a lot harder, please do this also. They write boring, useless stories then remove comments which we leave over stupid things. Get reporting people.
Well seeing as people are reporting my comments ( you sad freaks ) for stupid things like the word "tang" I will now resort to reporting comments with bad spelling and punctuation. WN admins job is about to get a lot harder, please do this also. They write boring, useless stories then remove comments which we leave over stupid things. Get reporting people. Pussyslimeslurper

5:22pm Fri 20 Dec 13

liketoknow says...

if food was flying and unruly behaviour, there is a health and safety issue.
if food was flying and unruly behaviour, there is a health and safety issue. liketoknow

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