AS a frequent visitor to Malvern, recent correspondence about the proposed cable car leads me to wonder what additional facilities can be provided for weary passengers alighting at the summit. Clearly, a viewing platform with multiple telescopes (£1 for 30 seconds viewing) will be required, or better still a Malvern Eye for enhanced views from the Cotswolds to the Welsh mountains and beyond.
Five-minute helicopter flights from one end of the hills to the other would be a useful source of revenue at £100 per trip, thus saving boot leather and damage to paths.
A permanent Badminton Court could be provided for the energetic to play beat-the-wind shuttlecock. Hang-gliding lessons would appeal to the more adventurous and attract charity sponsorship. Discounts could be offered for up-by-car-and-down-by-glider. A dry ski slope is a must.
Fast food outlets would be needed. However, for the more discerning customer a Michelin-starred restaurant could be created by blasting out a cavern in the Beacon with wonderful views and named Elgar's Hideaway.
Some thought must be given to entertainment. A fully equipped casino will be needed to attract the wealthy to the 'Las Vegas of the Midlands', with the addition of a five-star luxury hotel with saunas, gyms and swimming pools.
Why not install a fairground and circus? The Beacon Bonanza with camel and elephant rides recalling the days of yesteryear, and a music hall to complement the forum with Victorian costumes to hire for performances of The Good Old Days? Gas lamps everywhere are mandatory.
Then I woke up...
Please leave the beautiful Malvern Hills as they are.
Dr P E Gower
Cheam
Surrey
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