I had a big surprise when I went for my regular workout at the Splash gym.

At the upstairs men’s changing room a notice apologised for the showers being out of action.

It also said that the closest shower area “will be in the wetside changing village”.

The bloke coming in after me was shaking his head and laughing: “The Olympics have a ‘Village’ but in Malvern do we need one?

Though I have been a member at the Splash for five years, I have never heard of the wetside changing village!

I asked one of the personal trainers, who replied, “Oh, yes. That’s what they call the changing rooms down there”.

Do they, I wondered? I have certainly never seen a notice to that effect.

Hotfoot I went "down there" to the receptionist at the main desk.

“Wetside changing village?” I asked.

She shook her head and shrugged “I don’t know”.

Then she brightened up: “Maybe they mean down there”, as she pointed to the regular changing area.

Please, please, less of this departmental double-speak. Just use clear simple English that us ‘consumers’ can understand!

Tim Willcocks